No More Regrets

•July 22, 2013 • Leave a Comment

I haven’t seen you in awhile,
and it seems to be better for me
Since every time you were around
you brought nothing pain and nothing but misery

I can’t seem to regret losing touch,
because with you
I had so much to feel bad about

But now,
I have
a new sense of self,
a new life that doesn’t include you

So while I wish we hadn’t met
and I wish we didn’t kiss

Leaving you in the past isn’t something I regret


•February 28, 2013 • 3 Comments

You’re beautiful,
In the most tragic, heartbroken way
(though perhaps I should say handsome, male and all that-
though there’s something different about it,
beautiful is better as you’re a half finished painting
And paintings are quite beautiful)

You’re unique,
A true one of a kind and only one

I could search for years and not see another like you

You’re a storm,
one I never want to stop watching
One I want to go on for good-
Exciting and calming,
I guess it’s natural as I love the rain so

You remind me of a poem waiting to be written,
or a song about to be sung

The most haunting violin solo one will ever hear

Even if it draws my very being to tears,
I want to know everything you feel-
Every pain and every burden,
and let you know it isn’t yours to carry alone

No matter what it is,
I want to know what makes your eyes seem empty
And your heart so heavy

I want to wrap my arms around you,
and make the night easier for us both

I want to be for you,
what you are for me-
A safe haven, a comfort, a friend,
someone to love and protect,
and trust enough to let them help

You’re flawed in the most perfect way,
for me that it-
You’re awkward and brilliant,
and all I could want

My Anchor

•December 18, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Everything clears-
but at the same time the sky darkens,
the water rises,
the air thickens

Things slowly begin to make more sense-
yet my thoughts are still muddled,
my mind still illogical

Very little is staying the same-
but you stay,
you don’t change

Am I Crazy, This Doesn’t Seem Real

•November 11, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The voices I hear,
are not my own-
Their ideas,
are not ones I have thought

The images I see,
are they real?
Or all the make believe?

This plaguing fear,
and agonizing anxiety-
Is not the life I thought I’d live

These marks on my skin,
why are they there?

These thoughts in my head,
where are they from?

These memories I seem to have,
are they even true?

How much of me,
can I trust?

The World May Not Be Perfect, But It’s Close Enough With You (Answer To If Only This World Was Ideal)

•November 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The world isn’t perfect-
There’s pain and hate
There’s sadness and death

Our lives aren’t the best-
We cry
We bleed,
and sometimes want to die

We’re not always right,
we don’t always know what to do

I’m me and you’re you-
Such a great thing when we’re together

This doesn’t always make sense

My mind is all over,
I can be ruled by my emotions

But you’re the calm to this storm,
order to the chaos-
You’re the logic I’m missing

You give me hope,
you make me feel so safe

This world isn’t exactly ideal,
but that’s okay when I’m with you

I Promise You

•November 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I know I can’t always keep secrets-
Let’s face it, I always need to tell someone
or else it swallows me alive

I know I don’t always make sense-
My mind just isn’t the same as everyone else,
and I just can’t always find the right words

I know I act detached,
and try to push you away-
Just know it’s because I can’t make sense of anything

And you just seem too good to be real

I know I have my problems-
But, then again, I suppose you understand
We both have our trials

Despite all this,
I promise you I’m happy-
Even if it doesn’t always seem like it

I promise you I’m trying-
I will get better,
I won’t disappoint you

You care so much for me, and try to make me happy-
I love you,
I promise you

•October 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Peace is in my mind,
hope is in my heart-
While doubt floats through my thoughts

Calmed are my nerves,
yet nervous is my soul

News Update! (Also Beautiful Blogger Award)

•October 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Alrighty, so I haven’t actually typed anything on here…  I’ve actually been busy (in a very minor way)!

I just yeah, actually starting to do things again.  Bit odd, not gonna lie.  But I appreciate being having things to do, otherwise I have too much time to think.  Which is a bit bad for someone like me..  Anyways, Jean nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger award 🙂   She’s fantastic.

So, as the rules dictate, I present seven random facts about me!

1. I’m an introvert with anxiety
2. I have a bit of an obsession with tea
3. I have three or four Tumblr accounts
4. I’m dating my best friend
5. In case you couldn’t guess, I’m a nerd.  But if you did guess than I’m also a bit of a hippie
6. I have minor OCD, but my mind works in what I refer to organized chaos
7. I’m an insomniac

Now for the more interesting part!  I nominate 15 other beautiful bloggers!  Except, I’m not sure how many there actually will be since yeah, I’m unsure as to how many I know of..

For sure though

Oh these are in random order, just so you know.

Definitely just, her posts are so, so heartfelt and I’d be lying if I said they didn’t make me cry

Just Let Me Sleep

•September 29, 2012 • 2 Comments

Peace is all I want-
and it seems to be all that truly avoids me

I want calm and relaxation,
just a moment of quiet-
Just to close my eyes and wake up refreshed

I always feel more exhausted then when I laid down,
and sleep is just a nothingness

Down I Go, And By My Own Hand

•August 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The dawns brightest light,
cannot remove the inner torment
that haunts me,
caused by my ever changing thoughts
and irrational emotions

That worsens with the pain-
With every thought of self-hate,
every cut
every thought to starve until I’m thin and pretty
every night I stay awake with thoughts of never being good enough
and a loneliness that makes no sense

That deepens the hole in my chest,
an empty space that seems to be relentless in it’s existence
that is accompanied by a fear of abandonment

The night is unsafe,
but it’s my only time of peace from the bedlam of the day
and the insecurity it brings

I seemed to have become,
the very thing I never believed I would-
A monster onto myself,
my very own enemy
tearing my self down