News Update! (Also Beautiful Blogger Award)

•October 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Alrighty, so I haven’t actually typed anything on here…  I’ve actually been busy (in a very minor way)!

I just yeah, actually starting to do things again.  Bit odd, not gonna lie.  But I appreciate being having things to do, otherwise I have too much time to think.  Which is a bit bad for someone like me..  Anyways, Jean nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger award 🙂   She’s fantastic.

So, as the rules dictate, I present seven random facts about me!

1. I’m an introvert with anxiety
2. I have a bit of an obsession with tea
3. I have three or four Tumblr accounts
4. I’m dating my best friend
5. In case you couldn’t guess, I’m a nerd.  But if you did guess than I’m also a bit of a hippie
6. I have minor OCD, but my mind works in what I refer to organized chaos
7. I’m an insomniac

Now for the more interesting part!  I nominate 15 other beautiful bloggers!  Except, I’m not sure how many there actually will be since yeah, I’m unsure as to how many I know of..

For sure though

Oh these are in random order, just so you know.

Definitely just, her posts are so, so heartfelt and I’d be lying if I said they didn’t make me cry


Just Let Me Sleep

•September 29, 2012 • 2 Comments

Peace is all I want-
and it seems to be all that truly avoids me

I want calm and relaxation,
just a moment of quiet-
Just to close my eyes and wake up refreshed

I always feel more exhausted then when I laid down,
and sleep is just a nothingness

Down I Go, And By My Own Hand

•August 30, 2012 • Leave a Comment

The dawns brightest light,
cannot remove the inner torment
that haunts me,
caused by my ever changing thoughts
and irrational emotions

That worsens with the pain-
With every thought of self-hate,
every cut
every thought to starve until I’m thin and pretty
every night I stay awake with thoughts of never being good enough
and a loneliness that makes no sense

That deepens the hole in my chest,
an empty space that seems to be relentless in it’s existence
that is accompanied by a fear of abandonment

The night is unsafe,
but it’s my only time of peace from the bedlam of the day
and the insecurity it brings

I seemed to have become,
the very thing I never believed I would-
A monster onto myself,
my very own enemy
tearing my self down

•August 14, 2012 • Leave a Comment

If Only This World Was Ideal

•August 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment

If only, if only-
If only this world was ideal

I would feel the same,
yet I don’t and it’s eating me up-
It would be so damn perfect if we were together

In an ideal world,
we would already be together
No hesitation-
And no doubts

If this world was ideal though,
I wouldn’t be me and you wouldn’t be you

•July 28, 2012 • Leave a Comment

And you may say I’m pathetic,
oh you may say I’m immature-
But know I’m right when I say you’re going to take some of the blame


•July 19, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Why did you do it,
and why did you lie

Why did you feel the need,
to cause so much pain-
Then refuse to take the blame

Why did I waste tears on you,
and why did I let myself scar my skin for you-
Why did I let you break me down

Why did you do all that you did-
And why can’t I hate you